First things first, you are not the only one feeling stressed or depressed.
35% of the world population (143 countries) is under stress, including half of America. 51% of adults who are under stress are also depressed and 61% are anxious.
So, stop beating yourself up over your situation, because it is a common reality of our times.
The fact that you are here looking for a solution is the only thing worth noting about this whole scenario. You are about to break through this unhealthy cycle.
Whatever may be the reason for your stress or depression, it is time to lose the shame associated with it. Acknowledge that you are only human, and things can go wrong in life, just as they go right. Accept your situation, take charge, and get ready to get back on your feet. With peace and patience, everything is possible, and it is going to happen for you!
Without any further ado, let me show you how to deal with stress and depression.
8 ways how to deal with stress and depression (+1)
#1. Stop beating yourself up! (and practice self-love)
I cannot say this enough, but if you are planning to get anywhere with this journey – STOP BEATING YOURSELF UP!
Picture the face of any successful people you know or follow — a colleague, a famous Silicon Valley CEO, or your favorite sports person. Remember the confidence oozing out of their faces…!! Wait, are you sure, it is confidence?
Look closer, and you will find that it is self-love.
Now you would say, of course they do, they are successful! On the contrary, self-love is what drove them to success.
Loving yourself the way you are, doesn’t mean you close the areas for improvement, but exactly the opposite.
It means that you approve of yourself, of who you are at this moment, and accept yourself as a whole. You see the beauty in imperfection, the good things, and the bad (if I may).
And because you like yourself so much, a hurdle in the way is nothing much but just a hurdle. Stress and depression are nothing but some hurdles in your self-growth.
Self-love will give you the much-needed respite from all the self-pitying and self-beating that you are doing. It also gives you the energy to commit yourself to do whatever it takes to get out of this messy spot in your life, with peace.
Here is a simple morning routine that you can follow to practice self-love:
- SMILE! the moment you open your eyes in the morning (fake it till you make it).
- Look in the mirror and say ‘I love myself, I accept myself completely’
- Stretch your arms by the side of your body and chant Om for five minutes.
#2. Do stretching exercises (and avoid intense workouts)
You may have experienced this yourself that it becomes very difficult to sit quietly and calmly after an intense workout.
A workout that is too fast, done with a lot of aggression and a challenging mindset will work the opposite of quieting your mind. That is because the force of vata (air) gets activated with too much movement and an aggressive mindset works like fuel to activate the fire within.
On the other hand, deep stretching gives instant results in quieting the mind. Especially for people with a sedentary lifestyle.
I experienced this first-hand when I took my first extensive Yoga Holiday (Yes, 10 days is extensive while you are working full-time). An immense silence enveloped me and 4 hours of yoga every day had a lot to do with it.
The secret is though, that it has to be at the ligament level, hence a yoga stretching routine is your best bet. Not just jumping around from one movement to another, but being in one Asana from 40 seconds to 1 minute.
The stretching of the ligament decreases the breathing rate and therefore the slowed down mind too.
I am not recommending 4 hours of Yoga to you though, 30-60 minutes of regular practice is good enough.
#3. Stop trying to control your thoughts
Most people who are under stress and depressed, struggle with this one.
The more they try to control their thoughts, the more they cloud their mind.
Thoughts excel the light of speed, says Swami Sivananda of The Divine Life Society, Rishikesh. ‘While light travels at the rate of 1,86,000 miles per second, thoughts virtually travel in no time.’ he says.
It is not possible for a beginner or even an intermediate practitioner (of Yoga) to simply control an object that is so subtle. It will escape.
What you should do instead is stop fighting them. Simply sit down in a comfortable position (if possible spine straight) and let the thoughts come.
At this point, you are flooded with thoughts in your mind, but they are so quick, you can hardly place what is coming and going. Well, become aggressive and don’t stop it, tell them to come as much as they want, and let it all fill you up.
Remember to not judge or analyze your thoughts, simply watch them as if they aren’t even yours. This exercise in itself is capable of breaking the cycle of stress and depression.
After a few moments of observation, you will experience momentary silence. It will surely not be permanent, (because that means Nirvana 😉), but you will start having the taste of a thoughtless mind.
This technique also is very useful for beginners, who find it very overwhelming to sort through the mental chatter.
So instead of trying to control your thoughts in stress, drop your weapons and stop fighting. Become a peaceful warrior.
#4. Practice awareness of breath
What is that primary body function on which everything else depends? From heartbeat to blood circulation to digestion to filtration — every vital function your body performs.
They all depend on breathing. Breath is the bridge that connects all.
Breath is the vehicle on which thoughts ride. If you can regulate the breath, you can regulate the thoughts. And, if you can regulate your thoughts, you know how to deal with stress and depression. You simply stop allowing unwholesome thoughts to stress you out or depress you, it is magic!
Follow these simple steps to improve your breathing by simply being aware of it –
- Sit straight at some place and calm yourself
- Observe your breath. Is it short, stifled, or relaxed? Are you breathing through your nose or mouth? Are you breathing in your chest first or your stomach?
- Observe it, going in and coming out through the nostrils. Do not try to modify it in any way.
- Observe the touch of breath coming in; and the touch of breath going out.
- Observe the temperature of breath coming in and going out.
Try to focus on every aspect of the breath you can and practice it for at least 10 minutes in the beginning – every day.
You will immediately start to feel a new clarity in your mind and with regular practice, better regulation of thoughts.
#5. Regulate your body clock
All of us have heard this at one point or another ‘’Early to bed and early to rise, makes a man healthy wealthy, and wise.” Well, don’t underestimate conventional wisdom.
Modern science seems to be waking up to the importance of the sleep-wake cycle. In 2017, three scientists were awarded the Nobel Prize in physiology for their study of the molecular mechanisms controlling the circadian rhythm, or the body clock.
This body clock is physically located in the brain. It is a part of the limbic system, which is responsible for our emotional health and personality.
This clock is affected by our environment — external as well as internal. Hence it can get disturbed by erratic lighting, erratic schedules, erratic emotions, and many more.
Not only can regulating it result in better health, but also better mood, better decision-making, and more creativity. Hence, it can actually make you healthy, wealthy and wise 😉
Follow these steps to regulate your body clock:
- Fix a time to sleep and wake up and follow it religiously
- Eat at least 3 hours before you sleep
- Try to fix these timings as close to the sun cycle as possible — for example, don’t eat too long after the sun has set and get up as close to the sunrise as possible.
- Practice at least 9 rounds of Surya namaskar (Sivananda style) every morning. You can also do chair Surya Namaskar if you cannot practice the regular one. Please learn it from an experienced professional.
#6. Practice deep relaxation
In a world of constant stimulation, we have our stress hormones constantly amped up. We are running out of our stock of ‘’fight or flight’’ hormones. Hence the feelings of getting drained, burnout, and the ever-decreasing sense of excitement from the things that once used to make us happy.
The only way we can balance it is by properly relaxing.
Most of us think that sleeping is how we relax, but how many of us have a peaceful sleep? I am talking about a really peaceful, deep sleep. No snoring, no bad dreaming, not even dreaming of any kind.
Our ‘’to do’’ lists are too long for us to be able to have that kind of sleep and there goes the relaxation bit out of it. All the relationship worries, career aspirations, coping-up with social standards do not let us have deep sleep.
‘’Relaxation’’ is the other most underestimated factor in real fitness.
The simplest ways to practice deep relaxation are:
- Practice Shavasana, the Corpse Pose. In this pose, you are supposed to actively relax each and every part of your body, thereby making sure that they relax, something that you cannot do while you sleep.
- Practice Yognidra or any other kind of guided meditation. Yognidra is the most evolved art of conscious relaxation which can do more for you than just relaxation. However, in case you cannot find an experienced professional to guide you into Yognidra, go for any kind of guided meditation that is meant for relaxation with a trusted yoga practitioner.
#7. Engage your mind with a positive sound
Mantra chanting is a very popular and one of the most common techniques employed by spiritual leaders when it comes to beginners. Mantras are powerful and positive sounds strung together to create a profound effect on your body and mind.
At the same time, repeating a mantra is the easiest way to avoid unwholesome thoughts and thereby avoid stress and depression. It focuses your attention, away from the environmental noise and also of your own mind.
I am not talking about complicated chanting here. A small mantra like ‘Om’ will do perfectly.
You can be sitting or bathing or going about your routine work, only instead of letting your mind run amok, you now choose to repeat a mantra, mentally. This shall automatically flush out unnecessary thoughts.
Mantras that you can use for this purpose are:
– Om
– Om Namah Shivay
– Om Namo Narayanaya
– Gayatri Mantra
– Mahamritunjay Mantra
Or any mantra that you like or connect with. Just remember to keep it positive!
While chanting any Mantra, make sure the pronunciation is correct for the right effects. I recommend beginning with Om, as you cannot go wrong with it.
#8. Minimize exertion
There is an old Zen saying ‘Sit in meditation for 20 minutes a day, unless you’re too busy, then sit for an hour.’
Being too busy or trying too hard are very common causes of stress and depression. So, we must stop doing that to break this toxic cycle.
Multi-tasking is the most overrated thing ever. Our mind is capable of focusing on one work, it actually can perform only one function at one time —efficiently.
Follow these steps to minimize your daily exertion:
- Do one thing at a time
- Stop filling up your schedule with things to do
- Make time for ‘doing nothing’ in your schedule
- Go for long silent walks, spend time with yourself
- Observe your inner voice
#9. Bonus: Do Not try to Meditate
Practicing meditation may be the biggest lie of the modern Yoga world. The word is used so lightly, it has lost all its meaning.
Meditation is passive, nobody can ‘practice’ meditation. Meditation happens.
The only thing you can do is to start focusing your attention on one object and if your attention is sharp enough, you may experience meditation.
A few of the techniques I have given above can lead to meditation. Practice them. Don’t worry about ‘meditating’, because it is not something ‘you’ can ‘do’ anyway. When meditation happens, there is no ‘you’ and no ‘doing’.
Closing notes
If you practice the techniques we discussed with faith and perseverance, you will break through any stress or depression in your life.
Remember, it is a process and life reveals and evolves gradually. You must learn to be patient and if you cannot savor your present, at least accept it without judgment.
Talk to your friends and family if they are supportive and never think twice to get professional help. We all need support at some or the other time in our lives.
I wish you all the best!