How to keep calm in tough situations? Or should I say, how to stay sane in tough situations?
Because I must admit things can get pretty crazy sometimes! COVID-19 was a classic example.
I remember feeling an unsurmountable doubt of what would happen next… will this ever be alright? Back to normal?
Overwhelming state of affairs… the people in power ditching you just when they were supposed to be there for you.
That crippling feeling of helplessness, when you are no longer in control – either of your own life or the life of those you love.
The unbearable fear and pain of losing a loved one… or going through a painful illness yourself.
And worse yet, the daunting struggle you must go through to even find an ounce of oxygen so you can recover in peace.
It was not easy by any definition… especially with me living almost 2,000 miles away from any support system of family and friends.
But as they say, when the going gets tough, the tough get going because I have seen people drowning themselves in depression during the same period. Constantly thinking about how can this be surely didn’t help anyone.
We must make our choice, see.
Unless we decide to lose ourselves in our tears, which I pray my friend is not the choice you are making, we will always come out as winners.
Without further ado then, let me share with you some life principles and attitudes to hold on to when the going gets unimaginably tough!
5 Tips on how to keep calm in tough situations
#1. Be mindful of the only constant
First things first.
Take a quick look at the life you have spent till now. It was not always the same.
As a kid, you lived with your parents, then you grew up and moved away from home. It was difficult to learn to stay on your own, but eventually you did.
Some of you did not have parents to take care of you, but as you grew up you found your grounding in your own self or, in a loved one.
Some of you suffered the loss of a loved one and thought you would never be able to live without them, but then you did, and you thrived.
A safe assumption to make then would be that life will not be the same as it is right now, however difficult a situation you might be in.
From the Spanish Flu that infected one-third of the entire human population and took up to 50 million lives, to the worst global famines in human history when the ash in the air from Volcanic Eruptions blocked the sunlight – we always bounce back.
It is true for an individual’s life as well as for everything the world has been through.
Change is the only constant my friend. So, do what you can to the best of your capability but remain aware of this constant.
#2. Do not let the TV anchor decide what you eat today.
Yes, you heard that right.
One of the foundations of health as per Ayurveda is ‘diet’, and Yogic Science recognizes that food is not just what you eat through your mouth, but also what you take in through all the senses.
Your senses are the gateway to the outer world. Whatever you see, hear, smell, touch & taste – leaves an impression on your mind. Not only does it leave an impression but on a deeper level it defines you and hence makes your life what it is today.
As these impressions – positive and negative, reside in your subconscious mind, unless you are spiritually accomplished, it is nearly impossible to not let the negative ones also affect your life.
Therefore, the simplest way to keep your life in your own hands is to limit negative impressions as much as you can – of all the 5 senses.
For example, in cases of situations like war or epidemics, avoid watching the news all day about the overwhelming events going on around you. It is good to keep oneself updated, but the media in today’s world is more dramatic than factual. Especially when it comes to stories that keep running from morning till night – spicing it up becomes a part of the job.
Instead, choose your News by logging on to an online news source once or maximum twice a day for the latest updates and important news. Preferably follow dependable sources.
Similarly, in different situations, avoid talking to people who have a very negative outlook about the whole thing. Or, if you have the strength, listen to them and don’t take it to heart (practically difficult to do).
In short, keep your inputs wholesome as much as you can, including your self-talk.
#3. Learn to live with your mind
An enlightened being once said that all of us need to practice a mind-training discipline, or else we will not be able to live with our minds after some time in our lives.
Forget about a pandemic like COVID-19, mental illnesses have always been rampant even in peaceful societies.
In 2019, over 51 million people in the USA experienced mental illness, and the same number in India was the tune of 100 million.
It is not hard to guess that the psychological pressures of a difficult situation will only add to these.
Whether your situation may be of a:
– Difficult relationships
– Pressure in the workplace
– Financial instability or heavy debts with limited or no income sources
– Uncertainty of the worst kind
NOW is THE time to commit yourself to practicing a mind-training discipline every single day. Because in each of these situations, a healthy mind can really save your sanity, and an unhealthy mind can literally push you into it.
Some time-tested disciplines include focusing on an external object that is carefully selected (called Trataka in Yoga), breath awareness, sound meditation, etc.
If you are already facing a mental challenge, these techniques hold good too but not without expert supervision.
Please note though that unlike the popular notion, wrong meditation practices do have major side-effects.
Therefore, only start a practice with an online consultation and supervision of a qualified yoga or meditation teacher initially.
#4. Pay attention to your ‘normal’
When will it all get back to normal?
Doesn’t this question scream in your mind when in a tough situation?
But is normal always so perfect?
In the words of Governor Andrew Cuomo during COVID, ‘Density and number of foreign visitors made New York, an ideal breeding ground for infectious disease.’
The ease with which we can mindlessly travel from one corner of the world to another made COVID-19 a pandemic in the first place.
I worked in the Travel industry for 12 years and travel has been my soul calling always, but what I saw on my travels to destinations like Venice, Florence, Bangkok, Bali, and many more, broke my heart!
Overtourism at its peak, was literally killing the very reason Tourism exists in the first place – the destinations.
We were suffering from FOMO long before we started suffering from Corona. And FOMO did not just rip us off our lives, but also of our intelligence and sensitivity.
The friends you longed to visit during COVID were sitting in front of you before and you were busy playing with your mobile.
The point is that we need to pay attention to what we have at any given moment. We suffer from a tendency to ignore our present, which not just includes our own body and mind, but also our family, and friends. Forget about all the other things that surround and support our environment like water, soil, animal life, etc.
So, no. We cannot and should not have it normal all the time. Because sometimes it is important to pay attention to what seems ‘not normal’ to you.
It is time to take up responsibility and build a new normal, a more mindful one with whatever we have at this moment in time.
#5. Stop under-estimating the power of prayer
You may be an atheist, not believing in a creator or a God. I too was, for most of my childhood and the whole of my 20s.
However, I realized in moments of abject helplessness like when my grandmother was critically ill, or the moment I realized someone was running away with all my hard-earned money, I could not help but ask for it!
Who was I asking it from?
Doesn’t matter. What matters is, it taught me to be humble. I experienced humbleness in all its glory! I lived it.
We all experience moments in our lives where we have no control. Such are the moments that make us humble. They make us realize that we do not know as much as we think we know. Relationships don’t work as we think they do, the body has a mind of its own, and all the money in the world cannot bring you happiness if you fumble around the sacred order of things.
From a seemingly non-significant micro-organism to immeasurable galaxies – there is a hidden order and intelligence at the core of everything. And we can tap into it only by surrendering, only by acknowledging how little we know.
It is time therefore that you stop under-estimating the power of prayer that includes submission to a greater possibility. Do not bother giving it a name, it does not need one.
Pray for yourself, for your family and friends, and well-being of all life. In India, we say when nothing works prayer does.
Nothing works until you do!
Remember, ‘When the going gets tough, the tough get going’
The point is, ‘Get going’ does not just mean pushing yourself to an extent you break.
It also means to be mindful, make conscious choices, adapt, redefine, and surrender.
And so there you have it, the 5 things you need to do to keep yourself calm in 2021 –
– Remember Change is the only constant
– Consciously pick what you take in through all your senses
– Learn a mind-training discipline like Yoga
– Redefine the normal instead of craving for an old one
– Pray in surrender
Don’t forget to share your experience of how these worked out for you!